It’s been almost a month since our paperwork came back and we officially became therapeutic foster parents but in that month we’ve been presented a handful of placements, accepted them all then something has always fallen through. This afternoon we officially open our home and JJ becomes a little brother to an 11 year old girl.
Most people who know me know I’ve always dreamed of a big family- I’m talking 7 kids. I’ve always found myself drawn to friends with big families and have friends from high school and college who were part of foster care. Fostering and adopting is something I’ve always been interested in if I found myself in a situation where it would make sense for my family. I’m constantly reminded how God’s hand is in my relationship with Jett, because foster care and adoption is something he’s interested in too. In fact, his oldest brother is adopted.
When Jett and I finally moved in together in May of 2019, we talked a lot about beginning the process of becoming foster parents. We knew it could take some time and so we began talking about… little did we know we would soon find out we were pregnant with JJ. All talks went on hold while we adjusted to living with each other, losing Jett’s grandfather and my dad, and preparing for JJ. Late last summer, Jett brought the conversation up again. It was after a sermon at our church where we were reminded the value of contributing our time, talents and treasures.
In early October, I stumbled upon a Facebook post from the Bair Foundation and a few days later Jett and I were in the parking lot attending an orientation. We then attended 12 weeks of classes, twice a week for three hours a night. We had quite a few trainings and certifications beyond those classes including home visits. It’s seemed like a slow process, but as soon as your paperwork goes through they start calling! We had received a text confirming our licensure and got a call before our official welcome email even hit our inbox!
The specific foundation we went through is a private, Christian foundation. We are also a certification level above typical foster parents, most of the kids we will likely see will have some additional needs, maybe it’s an IEP or counseling sessions etc. Oh- and our agency typically deals with teenagers! Out of about 4-5 potential placements we got calls about this month, 3 of them were 16. While this may seem like a tall order for Jett and I, we aren’t deterred. Teenagers are most in need of homes, of stability, of well-established and successful people to teach them life skills. While we barely have any child-rearing experience, we both attended college and are employed full-time. We successfully run a zoo at our home and honestly have a very fulfilling and happy life. We may not know how to talk about puberty with a teenager but we can figure that out. We can provide them with protection and provisions, and honestly- that’s probably all they want from us. If they want more, we are more than happy to give more.
Well, as life would have it we’re taking in a pre-teen so hopefully things will be a little easier on us and allow more time for us to get accustomed to being parents of an older child before we have to deal with puberty! So, we’ve been getting all these calls and have been trying to coordinate meet-and-greets, both in-person and online. It’s been such a hassle coordinating schedules and ultimately makes the process take a bit longer. While I do think it’s important for a meet-and-greet because we’ve never done this, we also have a very overwhelming house. Three dogs, two cats, a turtle and a toddler. Oy vey! Plus, we’ve mostly been presented teenagers who have jobs, cars, after school activities etc. Also, none of these kids have lived in our school district or county. In my inexperienced opinion, I thought it would be best for these placements to come over and get a taste test, hopefully making the eventual transition smoother.
Well, when it came to our latest placement proposal, Jett was pretty tired of having things fall through. He asked our case worker if the meet-and-greets were necessary and she told us she was placing a kid with first-time foster parents the next day without a meet-and-greet. Since our girl is 11 and lives a few hours away it seemed like we could just forgo the meet-and-greet. So, in a few hours we will be opening our home, our hearts and our lives to a new family member and WE CAN’T WAIT!
We have no idea what to expect, we’re about as green as they come but we know we can do this. Our marriage is so strong right now, we have such a great and supportive church family and we’re ready! I don’t expect us to share too many specifics but we will share what we can to educate others about this process and potentially encourage them to join us. To all of our friends and family, please pray for us and give us grace over these next few months as we adjust to a new normal. And I’m sure once we get settled, we’re going to have to start all over again with Meenach baby #2 due at the end of August!
