Distance is hard. Whether you’re the man or the woman in the relationship, distance effects both parties equally and in different ways. It’s very easy to think that you can make a long distance relationship work but making it happen is something that takes time, commitment, love, respect and a million other things. Most days are pretty easy, but it’s those hard days that really try you as a man and as a partner.

The easy days are easy because work distracts you from thinking too much about the distance and the hurt that comes along with it. The workday for me is actually the easiest part of a long distance relationship. I keep myself focused on the task at hand so the hurt of thinking about not living with or seeing my wife on a daily basis never really sets in. When I get off work is when the hurt starts to set in. My friends get to go home to their wives and I go back to my room, alone.

The loneliness can set in quickly, especially if you’ve been separated for a long time. You never really get used to it. You just learn to live with it. Some things that have helped me are the poker nights I have with my friends or the dinners we go to and just hang out. The best way to fight the feeling of sadness you have for missing your partner is to surround yourself with friends and stay busy.

The hard days for me are pretty rare but when they happen it feels like I’ve been hit by a dump-truck carrying a ton of bricks. The worst part about the bad days is you never know when they’re coming. Most of my bad days hit me out of nowhere. I could be having a great day when I see something or hear something and all of these emotions that I’ve been able to hold in check just come flooding out. It can come from the most random things like listening to a song that reminds me of her. Or anytime I smell popcorn I automatically think of her.

Now I know that may sound weird but if you know Anastasia then you know that she absolutely loves her popcorn machine, and a perfect night to her most definitely includes a glass of wine and a bowl of popcorn.

So when these times occur and my bad days start, I have a few things that help me turn my day around. The number one thing I do is tell her how I’m feeling. Most of the time I don’t even have to tell her she can just tell. Talking to her about how I’m feeling actually is the best thing to help me get over whatever I’m feeling, but sometimes when it’s a really bad day just talking to her isn’t enough.

So, I read all the little notes she leaves for me. She leaves notes for me and hides them in my things while we’re together for me to find at random times after we go our separate ways. I try to keep all of them she’s ever written. I’ve lost some here and there but I have most of them.

Ladies, find something like that to help your guy get through his worst days. It can be something as simple as a note but there’s always something you can do to help him out just a little bit.

That first hug I get whenever I get off the plane or whenever I get out of my truck means everything to me. That one brief moment of release that we get of finally being together again makes all the distance and all of the hurt worth it.

Every second I get with her I cherish because I never know when the next time I will get to see her is. How many people can truly say that? How many people take for granted all the time they get to spend with their significant other? I’m sure sometimes I may fall short but I try to make every day I get with her the best day we’ve ever had because for one we’re never together for very long, and it may be the last day I spend with her for months.

You can make it work. It will never be easy and it will try you to your very core, but you CAN do it. If you truly love someone you will always make it work just like we have. I’m not saying we have the perfect relationship because we’ve had our rocky moments, but our relationship is perfect for me.

Part of the reason I wrote this is to show that I support her in everything she does, and that’s something both parties in a relationship should strive to do. I’ve never done anything like this in my life but I’m willing to put myself out there because this is something she’s passionate about and that makes me passionate about it for her.

I wish all of you the best of luck in the future.