Dear Anastasia,
I know you’ve always said you weren’t going to marry a man in the military… Welp, you’re wrong. Seriously though, what did you expect when you went to a school so close to a huge Naval Base? He’s really the only military guy you ever dated though so you did try.
Early on with him you’re going to get your expired military ID confiscated. I know it stinks because you can’t shop at the NEX or commissary anymore or use it for military discounts at other places, but because of him you get an unexpired one to use forever…
About 6 months into this relationship you’re going to have a tough choice to make. You get your first official full time job offer but it will move you halfway across the country. I’m proud to say you take the job and your man is supportive. After all, the relationship is still pretty new and he is still in college. Oh yeah, he’s younger than you.
Halfway across the country is far. It’s hard. Not just on your relationship, but on you in general. Don’t worry, you’ll soon move back towards the East Coast and a bigger airport!
The first year to year and a half with this man is literal sunshine and rainbows. Cherish all those moments while things were still easy. Once he graduates, things change.
It’s funny writing this now because not much has actually changed. He’s been in the same spot for almost two years now. You didn’t move with him after graduation, but you think about it a lot. It’s hard to say if it would have been the right thing to do, even while I’m writing this. You guys actually break up for awhile after he graduates.
The break up is hard. You stay strong and grind away at work. You also don’t give up on him. You have one big gesture up your sleeve as a last resort type of thing and guess what? It works.
Eventually you get engaged. A lot of plans are made. A lot of plans are made that don’t go as planned. He gets rolled to later trainings. Trainings get delayed more times than you can count. Injury strikes.
You thought 2018 would be your last season with Gwinnett, it’s not. You thought you would be living together in September. In reality, you’re married for many months and still living apart. It’s really hard to accept. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be and you can’t do anything about it. You get really, really good at waiting. Sorta.
You begin sound like a broken record. Everyone asks about Jett, what he’s doing, where he’s living, when you’ll see each other next, when you’ll live together etc. For the most part the spiel is the same.
A really hard part for you is having to deal with all of this on your own. You’re in an area without a large military presence. It’s hard to find a community of people to relate too. Thank goodness your man played baseball at the Naval Academy because you have made a few connections with the other guys’ significant others.
Honestly, none of this is what you ever imagined. It’s probably close to the complete opposite of anything you ever thought you wanted.
It’s better.
Your background as navy brat prepares you for all of this. No local military community to lean on? No problem, your parents and friends are great sounding boards because all of them have military connections. You miss your man? No problem, you made it through multiple deployments as a kid and even stayed with your grandparents for awhile. You got this.
This unique relationship really allows you to establish your independence and your career. Your early twenties are for being selfish and finding yourself, that’s exactly what you do.
The best part? Your man. He will support you like no other. No cheerleader you’ve ever had, best friend or parent, will compare. He always knows how to make you laugh and he makes you truly smile every single day. You two are cut from the same cloth and get along well. One of the first things that drew you to him was how much he values his family and friends. He is fiercely loyal.
As I’m writing this, our life is currently in limbo or a lame duck period. We’re still waiting on the military but you are doing everything you can to stay focused on being the best person you can be for yourself and for your man.
Keep it up,
An older, not much wiser you.
