I hounded Jett to work on his vows. About five or six months before our wedding I got us each little notebooks to write our vows in. I had looked at a bunch of different vow writing tips on Pinterest and done quite a few writing exercises, but honestly, I flew to Texas with no idea what I was going to say to Jett on our wedding day.
Jett actually listened to me and finished his vows about three weeks before our wedding. You would think this would have made me happy right? Wrong. He ended up sending his vows to our friends and screenshotting their replies gushing over how perfect they were and sending the screenshots to me. I had a hard enough time putting pen to paper before this and now there was more pressure because Jett’s vows were so good!
I remember being a little nervous to bring up writing our own vows to Jett. I honestly wasn’t sure if he would be interested in writing our own. When I brought it, he responded matter of factory that we would write our own. His response put me at ease.
We talked about wanting to keep them pretty short, pretty serious and not too personal. That’s what ended up making it so hard for me. I love to talk, I’m not serious and I’m very personal. Originally, I agreed and understood where Jett was coming from. In theory, all that makes sense, but that’s just not how I express myself.
In comes my maid of honor, Katie.
Basically, as soon as Katie got off the airplane for our wedding week I sat her down and got her to help me. By that time I had at least got down some of the main things I wanted to address and the way I wanted to say a few things, I just wasn’t too happy with the order. I knew that some of what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it wasn’t in line with what Jett and I had agreed on about being serious and not too personal.
Jett had shown Katie his vows almost as soon as he was done writing them, so she was the perfect person to look over what I had and help me make sure I was on the same page as he was. She gave me some advice and everything fell into place. She told me to talk about my life before Jett, my life with Jett and my future with Jett/ my vows and promises. That was the organization and structure I needed to make my jumbled mess flow.
I remember Katie saying that our vows were similar but I really didn’t think too much of it. But at the altar, as Jett was reading his vows I realized our vows were VERY similar. We both even used the same expression verbatim, “Boy, was I wrong.” Apparently, he had written down, “Man, I was wrong” but ended up saying, “Boy”. It was the craziest thing.
Everyone is going to have a different experience writing their vows. Once I got down what I wanted to say and consulted my BFF, it was smooth sailing. I wish I hadn’t waited so long to talk with her about them! I do recommend talking with your future spouse about what you want your vows to be, it would be awkward if you write this long, dramatic, personal story and he writes something short and silly… but ultimately, stay true to who you are and how you communicate.
You want what you say to be from the heart- from YOUR heart. Also, the structure of life before Jett, life with Jett and our future really worked for me to organize and simplify what I wanted to express.
What are some tips you found successful in vow writing?
