Growing up sucks. Bills, insurance, debt, working and the list goes on. Naivety wears off and suddenly you’re a responsible adult. But the worst part about adulting has been how drastic the dynamic of relationships has changed.
It’s not as easy to make friends as an adult like it was as a kid. Sure, we can lure friends in with wine and the Bachelor these days instead of chocolate milk and Rugrats but that’s about as far as it goes. Because as an adult, you have a more demanding schedule so to have friends/maintain friends you need to make time for them which means taking away time from something or somewhere else. Plus, you are going to have to drive to their house when you would much rather sit on the couch in sweats. Or worse- they live in another state and visiting them requires flying…
Then, there are families. You already have your immediate family, then your parents’ families and if you’re reading this you have your military man’s family. That is a lot of people to visit over the holidays! These new relationships are the ones that really rock the boat. Chances are no one in your family is going to get jealous over your new BFF… but a new family? That’s a different story. What about your new family? Does your man have jealous sisters? What about a mom who you just don’t see eye to eye with?
Relationships are hard. Let’s just admit it. As you get older, you have more relationships and you begin to realize which relationships are actually worthwhile. You begin to experience different kinds of relationships that will open your eyes up to new ways of treating and interacting with people.
I am no expert in relationships. But lately, certain things have become more clear to me.
Figure out how you want to be treated. Just because you use to let a friend or significant other talk down to you doesn’t mean you still have to allow that. You have more relationships now and less time. Invest in relationships that are rich and will be worth your time.
Treat others the same way you want to be treated. Seriously, we all remember the golden rule. If you want other people to be honest and communicate with you, you need to be honest and communicate with them.
People change. Sometimes it’s a good change, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes, you’re the person who has changed and you realize others haven’t. Don’t hold on to relationships just because you’ve had them for so long. If something isn’t good for you, leave it.
Relationships are a two-way street. You can put in maximum effort, but sometimes the other person just doesn’t reciprocate. Unfortunately, there’s not really much you can do about that. Figure out how much effort you want to put in and what your limit is. Eventually either the other person will give in and reciprocate or you will be done trying.
Some relationships are meant to end. There are a lot of things in life that end. You can be sorry and mourn things for a while, but eventually, you need to buck up and move on. When a relationship ends, you have more time for a new relationship or existing ones.
I wish you the best of luck when it comes to relationships. They’re hard, really hard. If you’re in a rough patch, know you’re not alone. If you need someone to talk to feel free to contact me or join our Facebook group.
