Your wedding day. It’s a day you’ve probably been dreaming of for years, maybe decades. You may have had the entire thing planned since you were 5-years-old but ultimately no matter how great of a planner you are there are still so many things you can’t control. This may be a foreign feeling for brides-to-be during this pandemic, but this is all too familiar for military spouses. So, what can you do?
There’s a reason most military members get hitched right after graduation, training or deployment. It’s really the only time service members are guaranteed leave.
Jett proposed in February of 2018 while he was at Quantico for Marine Corps officer training at the basic school(TBS). The timing was perfect because I had always wanted a fall wedding. We had a little over 6 months to plan a fall wedding after his intended graduation date of September 22nd.
Wedding planning was so much fun. Mid-June I was on a high. I had just spent the past four days in Texas with my fiance and his family finalizing a lot of our wedding details. It was so much fun. We finally got to tour our venue, we found a florist and selected the most delicious cake flavor! We even got our engagement photos done before flying back separately to the east coast.
I went back to work barely able to focus on anything because I was reliving the weekend and getting so excited for October 27th. That excitement only lasted two days though. Wednesday morning I got a text that said, “Hey, so I just talked to our Captain.” I immediately knew what was coming next, “I am not picking up with this class is the bottom line.”
Jett was supposed to graduate Infantry Officer Course(IOC) on September 22nd. Now, he wasn’t scheduled to begin his three-month training until after September 22nd. IOC is very intense with not many off days. So, what did this mean for the wedding? There was a huge chance Jett wouldn’t be able to take leave to fly out to Texas. If he miraculously was able to get approved for leave, he would most likely fly in Saturday and fly out Sunday.
His captain recommended moving our wedding. The wedding we just finished finalizing the details for. The wedding I had sealed and stamped invitations ready to deliver.
His new training schedule was supposed to begin mid-October which would make it nearly impossible for him to make our October 27th wedding date. Jett and I went back and forth on moving the wedding. He wanted to move it but I couldn’t imagine re-doing everything we had just done. Plus, I was in the middle of working my second full-time season in Minor League Baseball. I worked about 60-80 hours a week, there was no time for me to re-schedule an entire wedding
Eventually, I told Jett we weren’t moving it. There was just no way we were moving it even if it meant he was only in Texas for a few hours.
That was only curve ball #1…
About a month later Jett called me with some good and bad news. The good news? He could make our wedding. The bad news? He was getting rolled. Again. He wouldn’t start IOC training until after the new year.
When Jett and I got engaged our plan was for me to finish out the 2018 baseball season in my full-time job and then to move with him to his duty station in September, get hitched in October and live happily ever after. For most of that summer, I was looking forward to closing the distance between Jett and I. Unfortunately, we got married and were still separated. We didn’t move in with each other until May 2019… after about 8 months of being married!
But there’s always a silver lining. Jett made our wedding and we got to honeymoon through Europe for two weeks!
That’s my advice to you, find the silver lining. It may be hard to find the good right now with everything going on, but there is always something good. Ultimately, what is waiting a few more months for wedded bliss compared to a lifetime of being together? COVID-19 brides, you can do this. I’m not saying it will be easy but you are strong just like our service members and their spouses.