If you’re in a long distance relationship you don’t have the option of living with your spouse. So, what do you do? Live alone? Live with roommates? I’ve done both and it just depends on where you are in life.
When I moved to Kansas in March of 2016 I lived on my own for the first time. I didn’t make much at KU but rent was cheap. I was paying a little over $600 a month for an 800 square foot apartment a few miles from campus. When I moved to Georgia in February of 2017 I quickly realized that living alone was no longer a luxury I could afford. Sure, I was making a little more here but the cost of living was almost double. Rent was approximately $1,000 a month. Cue the panic attacks.
Going from living on your own to living with someone else is really not that hard. When I went to college, I fought with my freshman roommate from time to time because we didn’t choose to live with each other and we hadn’t ever lived on our own and didn’t accept full responsibility of ourselves.
Fast forward to sophomore year, I got to choose my roommates but we had too many roommates who didn’t all mesh together and it was also super easy to push blame onto each other. Junior year of college I moved into a house(the biggest place I had ever lived) and only had two other roommates. Things went much more smoothly.
Once I was living alone in Kansas I had accepted full responsibility of myself and my actions. I realized that if I didn’t wash the dishes immediately or take out the trash that things would start to get funky around the house. I realized that sure, I could skip a day doing laundry or vacuuming but the longer I skipped out on my chores the worse it was when I actually took care of them.
When I moved in with my current roommate I was at the pinnacle of successfully living solo. I had struck a great dynamic where I was keeping up after myself and wasn’t killing myself at the same time. The beauty of living on your own before you live with a roommate or your significant other is that you’re used to doing everything on your own. I’ve lived a time where keeping the house up was completely up to me.
So when Jett and I move in together and he doesn’t vacuum, it’s not the end of the world because I’m already programmed to do it myself. Now, I’m not saying Jett can throw his clothes around willy nilly and leave the toilet seat up- but I am not so quick to yell at him or point fingers because I’m used to doing it all myself anyway.
Although long distance sucks, I’m thankful to have had the opportunity to experience bad roommates and living on my own. I think these experiences have taught me valuable lessons, but not without a cost. I have lost friendships while I figured out how to accept responsibility for myself as a roommate, but better friendships than my marriage, right?
What are some lessons you’ve learned from flying solo and living on your own in a LDR?
